Overblog
Follow this blog Administration + Create my blog
January 15 2013 2 15 /01 /January /2013 12:05

A British Holocaust? by the author and historian Gary Watton

The purpose of this blog piece is to highlight the state-sponsored terror that was doled out to the populace during the seemingly eventful decades during which the Tudor family sat on the throne. It is not a mere recital of Foxe’s Book Of Martyrs nor intended as a chronology of Catholic martyrdom. Instead, I feel it necessary to demonstrate just how vengeful and murderous Henry VIII was, whilst also drawing your attention to the misery, pain, torture and worse that was inflicted by Henry’s two daughters upon a whole host of brave souls whose religious convictions were at variance with that of the reigning monarch. Good old Harry of England may have his fan club, but was he far removed from being an early version of Joe Stalin?         

   [Was Henry VIII a great king or just a sixteenth-century Idi Amin?]

          Anyhow I would quickly like to emphasise that the Tudors did not enjoy the monopoly on inflicting suffering upon their naughty subjects. There was widespread barbarity visited upon the peoples of the British Isles long before and indeed long after the last of the Tudor monarchs exited the stage in 1603. Why is it then that I and many others have always been drawn to the soap opera of the sixteenth century? I would venture to suggest that the callous cruelty that we associate particularly with the reigns of Henry VIII and his daughters Mary and Elizabeth owes itself to the religious upheaval that Martin Luther instigated around 1517 when he unwittingly founded the Protestant Reformation, a fact all the more absurd when one considers that this pioneer was himself a Catholic monk. Ever since Luther’s rebellion against Rome, Europe was plunged into turmoil. What renders the situation a matter of life and death is that the two respective camps had a clear sense of black and white on matters spiritual. Anyone who dared to oppose or reform the old religion was an enemy of Rome and had to be literally extinguished. By the same token, once Protestantism took hold, those who steadfastly clung to the old religion were regarded as equally too dangerous to tolerate. The concepts of compromise and tolerance and mutual respect and understanding were anathema to the religious fanatics and devout worshippers of the sixteenth century. In many respects, the so-called Christians of this epoch were fighting their very own Jihad, but against each other. It is against these unfolding circumstances that the Tudor monarchs were confronted with all manner of heretics and perceived traitors. In such unenlightened times, it was reckoned that the only means of killing an idea was to exterminate every last soul who possessed such an idea or faith. The modern-day perpetrators of genocide still entertain the naive notion that a belief can be killed off by removing everyone who holds that belief. Easier said than done. 

          Before we pour over the list of over seven hundred wretched souls who paid the ultimate price during the tumultuous Tudor years, I would like to enlighten you with the following items of trivia, which you may or may not already be familiar with.

          Firstly, did you know that the lucky victims of a beheading who were spared the prolonged agony of a hung, drawn, and quartered ordeal could potentially remain conscious for several seconds after they had been decapitated? This is a medical fact.

          Secondly, it was customary to pay the executioner in a beheading in order to bribe the axeman to complete his gruesome task to the best of his peculiar talent. However, not all victims received value for money. The dastardly ex-Lord Chancellor Thomas Cromwell and Robert Devereux, the Earl of Essex were two such notable persons whose heads refused to exit the rest of their body at the first attempt, leaving them and others in such circumstances in considerable pain for longer than their wages to the executioner had bargained for.

          Thirdly, the executioner was expected to ask the imminent victim for his or her forgiveness ahead of the fatal blow. It is also worth pointing out that if there was an unenviable queue of ‘offenders’ awaiting their fate on the block, they were dealt with in decreasing ‘order of importance’. The individual of highest rank and noble birth was permitted the extra privilege of being decapitated first. So what? Well, if you consider the five unfortunates who were each falsely accused of being in an adulterous relationship with Queen Anne Boleyn, then you can imagine the amount of blood flowing literally on the block and the scaffold by the time that victim number five, the wretched Mark Smeaton was required to die. Going first and getting the ordeal over with was something to wish for!

          Fourthly, although the victim was usually granted an opportunity for a pre-execution oration atop the scaffold, some offenders deemed it prudent not to condemn their accusers for fear of retribution being meted out against their bereaved families.

          Fifthly, the hung, drawn, and quartered punishment is slightly inaccurately named. Initially, the wretch was drawn by horse through the streets to their place of execution, then he would have been half-hanged, but cruelly kept alive, and then the ritual culminated in a disembowelling, before the corpse would be sliced into four and distributed to vantage points in the vicinity as a reminder of what awaited anyone who contemplated a treasonable act. Therefore, strictly speaking, the punishment was actually drawn, partially hung, and quartered.  

          It is also worth pointing out that the victims who were burnt at the stake were being ‘purged’ of their sinful heresy in order to render them worthy of eternal salvation. This peculiar practice was widespread at the time of the Spanish Inquisition. It became commonplace in England in the 1550s on account of the fact that Queen Mary was effectively a Spanish monarch, given that her mother and her new spouse both hailed from Spain. Anyhow, it was deemed to be infinitely more preferable to burn for a few hours on earth than supposedly to burn forever in Hell. Thus the torture of being fried alive in a town or village square was an act of generosity!

 

 [Mary I (reigned from 1553-1558) was a hate-figure among Protestants!]

          Did you also know that the remarkable Anne Askew [see below] is believed to be the only female who was subjected to the gruesome torture of the rack, an interrogation method which became commonplace decades later for Catholic priests during the Elizabethan era when the threat from Spain heightened a sense of anti-papist hysteria. Every individual listed below has a remarkable story to tell beyond the grave. One person who escaped martyrdom was the exceptionally fortunate Robert Benet, a Mayor of Windsor, who was condemned to be burnt at the stake, but who was peculiarly excused by dint of the fact that he was unwell!

          Also of interest, thinks me, is the fact that some individuals who were transported to the Tower of London by barge along the River Thames would have had to wait the turning of the tide before he or she could proceed with their potentially final journey. Never has the ominous phrase ‘the turning of the tide’ seemed quite so poignant. 

          On the subject of the imposing royal fortress in central London, it ought to be pointed out that for all its horrible dungeons, such as the pit and the infamous tiny cell dubbed ‘Little Ease’, the Tower of London was relatively palatial in contrast to almost any other prison or municipal jail up and down the country, in an age when the notion of prison reform was but a foreign language. Special mention also ought to be assigned to the chief tormentor of Catholics in the last two decades of the sixteenth century, Richard Topcliffe. Old Topcliffe thrived on inflicting torture and even installed a customised rack in his own house for those of a papist inclination. To those who still regard Catholicism as a manifestation of the devil, then Topcliffe is presumably a hero. For the rest of humanity, this gent ranks very highly [or lowly] amongst the most sadistic and barbaric of interrogators.

          Did you also know that one of Anne Boleyn’s favourite Bible stories, derived from the middle of the Old Testament, relates to how Queen Esther saved her people and fellow-believers from extermination at the hands of the evil anti-Semitic Haman? However, Thomas Cromwell managed to postpone the same fate as Haman by striking first against Queen Anne Boleyn in the spring of 1536.

          Furthermore, en route to a trial, the accused would be preceded by an individual who carried an axe facing away from he or she. However, when a guilty verdict was conferred on the accused, he or she would leave the court proceedings with an axe pointed towards them to inform bystanders of the death sentence. Such procedure was reportedly enacted upon the likes of Anne Boleyn and Lady Jane Grey.

          Finally, there are a number of myths about Tudor history which I will briefly address here. In the first instance, Henry VIII may be the founder of the Church of England but he remained staunchly Catholic until his dying day in 1547. Also, although Anne Boleyn is heralded as a champion of the English reformation, she too remained a Catholic until she breathed her last in May 1536. It was indeed Edward VI, the ill-fated male heir of Henry VIII who was England’s first Protestant sovereign. It is also worth noting that King Henry’s sixth and final wife, Catherine Parr actually came perilously close to joining two of her predecessors on the scaffold. An ageing Henry was growing tired of Catherine’s reformist tendencies. Fortunately for Mrs Henry VIII, she was tipped off about the sovereign’s concerns and she had the presence of mind to row back from her theological sermonising. It almost certainly spared her, though she did not long survive her ailing husband. Furthermore, although Mary and her estranged younger sister Elizabeth merit much scorn for their own reigns of terror, they did feel varying degrees of regret and sorrow for approving respectively the executions of Lady Jane Grey and Mary Queen of Scots. 

[Elizabeth I was equally 'bloody' towards the Catholic clergy]

       Okay, that’s enough bits and pieces of dead bodies for thee. Let us now solemnly browse through the list of high-profile victims of a Tudor tyranny which perhaps collectively cast the shadow of holocaust over the history of Britain. Pedants will correctly point out that a holocaust constitutes a widespread massacre of a large volume of people. Also, a catalogue of over seven hundred executions, spanning a little over a century scarcely merits the word massacre. However, I did insert a question mark in the title, thereby allowing the reader to decide whether there is a case for arguing that the Tudor terror amounts to a holocaust. Nevertheless, it almost goes without saying, but I shall say it anyhow, but these are effectively the ‘celebrity deaths’. The recorded executions below are but the tip of the Tudor iceberg. Indeed, it has been estimated that perhaps as many as seventy-two thousand souls were on the receiving end of capital punishment during the reign of Henry VIII. Maybe the word holocaust is not entirely misplaced after all.

          The litany of victims below paid with their life in almost every instance for either heresy or treason. In fact, one could argue that heretics were traitors and traitors were heretics. In the days of ‘the divine right of Kings’, defying the monarch was tantamount to defying God, while declining to submit to the church of state was equally akin to refusing allegiance to the sovereign. Oh, and if you were given the choice between being hung, drawn, and quartered, or being burnt at the stake, well it is a tad like being between a rock and a hard place. For me, I would opt for the burning, if only because many of the victims were strangled before the flames took hold. Oh such Christian compassion!

          Many more poor souls were executed during the Tudor era. There is simply not enough space to chronicle all such misfortunes. Oh and I would also like to state that irrespective of one’s religious allegiances [or lack of them], there should not be any hierarchy of victims. The list underneath is by no means exhaustive, but perhaps exhausting!

*****THE LIST CAN BE FOUND AT THE FOLLOWING SITE: http://gw930.blog.com/the-tudor-tyranny/

Share this post
Repost0
Published by The author Gary Watton - in British politics
write a comment …
January 14 2013 1 14 /01 /January /2013 12:46

British ska by the author and musicologist Gary Watton; xo

GENTLE INTRODUCTION

When I foolishly went to Aston University at the end of the ‘eighties, I apparently introduced myself to other blokes in my accommodation block as “Me name’s Ga and I like ska.” Well, as someone who has owned and played all the albums from the British ‘ska’ artists and read lots of material about such acts, I feel that I am in a position to offload my own twopence worth of expertise on what many people refer to as the great ska revival that occurred between 1979 and 1981, when the 2 Tone label was in its heyday.

                         THE MYTH OF SKA

Time and again, countless people have erroneously described the 2 Tone acts, including Madness and The [English] Beat as ska performers. I must take issue with this mythical nonsense. To do so, one must first ask what ska is [or was].

Ska was born in sunny Jamaica, circa 1962, the very year that this colony was being granted its independence of big, bad colonial Britain. Perhaps celebrating their delivery from the clutches of the white man and the Babylon that was imperial Britain, the local populace embraced a new dance craze of their own making. It was based on a new sound called ska. Ska was popularized by such acts as Byron Lee and the Dragonnaires and by the equally pioneering Skatalites. Herein we find the definition of what I would describe as authentic [Jamaican] ska. These were big bands with a big brass sound and the music was delivered with an unprecedented fast tempo. Trombones and trumpets were prominent, as were rhythm guitars, an organ [probably of the Hammond variety] as well as the obligatory bass and drums rhythm section. Right, so this is original ska. Let’s look at British so-called ‘ska’.

Even allowing for the fact that some of their tunes were boosted by the brass input of Dick Cuthell and the legendary Skatalite, Rico Rodriguez, the Specials were NOT a ska band. The septet themselves didn’t even have anyone on brass instruments. They also recorded many tracks where there was an absence of a brass sound. Dawning Of A New Era, Little Bitch, and Too Much Too Young are three early examples, amongst others, of Specials’ songs which were essentially fast-paced punk rock tunes. Later Specials recordings which included the likes of Stereotypes, Do Nothing, and the delicious Holiday Fortnight may have boasted a brass accompaniment, but these tunes were definitely not ska. Also, Ghost Town is no more a ska song than Hark The Herald Angels Sing.

Their 2 Tone stablemates, the Selecter have also been mistakenly characterised as a ska band, but this septet similarly did not contain a single brass musician. This is scarcely compelling evidence of ska.

Madness may have featured the admirable Lee Thompson on saxophone, but these north Londoners composed their very own nutty sound, which one could certainly argue was a derivative of ska. However, as the nutty sound was frequently built around the piano of Mike Barson, this hardly suggests ska music. The brilliant hit single One Step Beyond and possibly Night Boat To Cairo are probably the closest that Madness ever came to performing ska.

The Beat were certainly not the ska band that has been suggested in some quarters. Their sound summed up the efforts of the aforementioned acts as these Brummies branched out into a hybrid of different sounds, embracing punk and calypso and reggae. Ska? I don’t think so. Just because Tears Of A Clown was released on the 2 Tone label does not render this worthy cover of a Motown classic to be suddenly a ska tune. Similarly, just because Madness release The Prince on 2 Tone, it does not automatically qualify as a ska song, even allowing for the fact that it is a tribute to the ska marvel, Prince Buster.

Take a listen to the albums Wha’ppen by The Beat or Special Beat Service, or Celebrate The Bullet by The Selecter, and see if you can identify all those great ska tunes. You won’t succeed, because they don’t exist. Ska is the figment of many a fertile imagination. British ska as mentioned on the cover of the Dance Craze compilation album was largely a fusion of punk, reggae, and other North American and Caribbean ’riddims’, including yes ska.

The best means to summarise the music that emerged from 2 Tone is simply to use the vague label of new wave. As new wave took off in the aftermath of punk, then it is fair to say that the 2 Tone artists with their fusion of different musical styles were indeed premier British new wave recording stars.

If truth be told, the only British band that closely impersonated authentic ska was Bad Manners, themselves a non 2 Tone act. This north London combo featured two saxophonists and a trumpet player, Gus ‘Hotlips’ Herman, which collectively lent Bad Manners a big brass sound. Thier music was invariably fast tempo and yes Buster and the gang were, in my semi-humble opinion, much more in step with the likes of the Skatalites. To suggest that The Beat, Madness, The Selecter, and The Specials were ska acts is akin to stating that rounders is the same as cricket, and that cricket and baseball are the same game.

In fact, it would be best to conclude that the British ska ‘revival’ that graced the early years of the Thatcher project was not so much a rebirth of ska but more strictly a rehabilitation of skinhead reggae. Skinhead reggae as performed by the great Trojan acts of the late ‘sixties is the true forerunner of British ska. Early Jamican ska is a far cry from the 2 Tone sounds. Instead 2 Tone was an urban new wave phenomenon that brought the skinhead reggae to a wider audience. Agreed?

                         COMMERCIAL BRAKE

‘You Are A Tube!’ compiled by Steven Fried PLC is a quirky review of music.

                         This is an excellent publication 

 

                     A TRIBUTE TO MADNESS [by Gary Watton]

          No this is not a bizarre commercial, endorsing the merits of insanity. Instead I recently watched my Complete Madness video compilation. It’s forty minutes well spent. I remain a little disappointed that the hugely popular septet from north London never received the critical acclaim that they perhaps deserved. After all, ask anyone on the street or in the music business about Madness and nobody it seems has a bad word to say about Camden Town’s finest. Yet for all the string of hit singles that began with ‘The Prince’ in the autumn of 1979, one will struggle to find a solitary music critic who recognises the impact that Madness had on British pop music in the 1980s and beyond.

         It is probable that the group’s eye-catching, wacky videos perhaps deflected the fact that the group created outstanding records. ‘Baggy Trousers’ spent a remarkable twenty weeks in the singles charts and is a terrific social commentary on comprehensive education, while the group’s only number one, ‘House Of Fun’, is a light-hearted look at the coming of age. ‘Embarrassment’, ‘Cardiac Arrest’, and ‘Grey Day’ were also superbly crafted pop songs which nevertheless explored a darker side to the group’s collective songwriting formula, not forgetting the delights of ‘Wings Of A Dove’, ‘Uncle Sam’, and ‘Waiting For The Ghost Train’ which each covered politics without preaching or getting too inaccessibly intellectual.

         Only Graham McPherson, under the alias of Suggs, has increased his profile since Madness became more sane in the mid-1980s, courtesy of a television show, followed by an excellent residency at Virgin Radio, not to mention a ‘This Is Your Life’ profile and a fish fingers advertisement. What a pity that the group as a whole never quite garnered the critical esteem that their musical exploits merited. Their influence almost certainly re-surfaced in such Britpop anthems as ‘Common People’ and ‘Parklife’, yet Madness probably suffer for the image they cultivated: fast-paced anthems performed by an unpretentious, down-to-earth bunch of lads, who didn’t take themselves too seriously. However, to ignore their music and its legacy, well that would be absolutely madness.

          Incidentally, Madness had at least one single in the UK Top 75 chart every single week from the week ending Saturday the 1st of September 1979 through to the week ending Saturday the 8th of March 1980, a consecutive run of 28 weeks! The Madness single that spent longest in the UK charts was ‘It Must Be Love’ which accumulated 21 weeks on two separate chart runs, and even penetrated the UK Top 10 each time, in 1981/2 and again in 1992 when Madness re-formed for their Madstock project. ‘Baggy Trousers’ meanwhile achieved a phenomenal run of twenty consecutive weeks in the UK singles chart in the autumn and winter of 1980. Finally, two Madness singles reached the UK Top 10 on their first week in the chart, namely the chart-topper, ‘House Of Fun’, and its follow-up ‘Driving In My Car’. The latter splashed into the charts at number 6 while the former previously jumped in at number 8.

My first Madness album: Complete Madness [1982]

My favourite Madness album: Seven [1981]

My favourite Madness song: Overdone [1980]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKKW35p78K4

                         COMMERCIAL BRAKE

‘An Essential Guide To Music In The 1970s’ by Johnny Zero costs £9.99

                         This a marvellous publication 

 

                          2 TONE TRIBUTE

Okay, the time is long overdue for me to pay my respects to a music label that began life in 1979 under the watchful eye of Chrysalis Records, and despite humble origins, proceeded to conquer the British music charts over the next couple of years as there took place a ska revival in the Disunited Queendom.

For the record, the Beat and Madness merely signed a one-off contract for a debut single. They then departed with no hard feelings to Arista and Stiff Records respectively. Inspired by the 2-Tone label, the Beat set up their very own: Go Feet Records. Another act, Bad Manners were invited along to increase the mayhem of the riotous 2-Tone tour of early 1980 but they never signed a recording deal with 2-Tone. Meanwhile, the Selecter jumped ship in the summer of 1980, but their great album ‘Celebrate The Bullet [1981] sank without trace, and the septet soon followed it into oblivion. Regrettably, the Bodysnatchers and the Swinging Cats also proved to be short-lived phenomena, although the former were partially re-invented as the Belle Stars and enjoyed success with the poptastic ‘Sign Of The Times’ in early 1983. 2-Tone also signed the Higsons and the Apollinaires, but these artists failed to trouble the compilers of album or singles charts. Interestingly, the former group counted amongst its ranks, one Charlie Higson, who at least found fame amongst the coveted ‘Fast Show’ BBC comedy production, with the man himself excelling as ‘Swiss Tony’, among other creations. 

Incidentally, the 2 Tone label had at least one single in the UK Top 75 every week from the week ending Saturday the 27th of July 1979 through to the week ending Saturday the 2nd of August 1980, representing a quite staggering fifty-three consecutive weeks. Another impressive fact was that on the week ending Saturday the 17th of November 1979, ‘On My Radio’ and ‘A Message To You Rudy’ both occupied positions within the UK Top 10, at numbers 8 and 10 respectively.

Furthermore, the unforgettable ‘Nelson Mandela’ recording featured a total of nineteen musicians and singers, and was almost a prototype Band Aid, before that particular choir assembled several months later for another worthy cause. One of the singers, Caron Wheeler, of the female trio, the Afrodisiaks, would later taste chart-topping fame with the hit ‘Back To Life’ in 1989.

Meanwhile, did you know that one of the 2 Tone albums was partially recorded in Jamaica? ‘Jama Rico’ featured ace Jamaican musicians Sly Dunbar, Tommy McCook, Robbie Shakespeare, and Winston Wright when Rico Rodriguez returned to his native land to lay down a number of tracks at Kingston’s famed Joe Gibbs studios.

Of course, the central act to the 2 Tone story was the Specials. This outfit were a highly regarded live act, and indeed they were invited to perform in a concert for the people of Kampuchea in late December 1979. In the event, their danceable cover version of ‘Monkey Man’ was included on the 1981 compilation album which commemorated those concerts.

After the Specials acrimoniously finished all too soon in the late summer of 1981, and at the height of their fame, the two flagship acts of the now struggling label were the ace Jamaican trombonist Rico Rodriguez and the Special AKA. The latter was a combo that suffered from constant changes in personnel as it painstakingly pieced together the ‘In The Studio’ project of 1984. The LP itself was well worth the wait, but 2-Tone legend Jerry Dammers once ruefully summed up this album as “three years in the making and six weeks in the charts!”

Before I sign off, here are a few pieces of trivia for ya. Did you know that both Elvis Costello and Chrissie Hynde appeared on 2-Tone tracks? The latter applied backing vocals on ‘Nite Klub’ from the Specials’ debut album, which was actually produced by Elvis Costello, while EC lent backing vocals to the cast of singers that decorated the rallying call of ‘Nelson Mandela’, which also reunited Dave Wakeling and Ranking Roger with the label that had first given the Beat their break four and a half years earlier. Further contributors to 2-Tone tunes included future pop sensations Belinda Carlisle and Jane Wiedlin on ‘I Can’t Stand It’ and ‘Enjoy Yourself, reprise’ from the album ‘More Specials’. This LP was slated in some quarters as ‘muzak’ that belonged in shopping malls and was a far cry from the group’s punk/ska origins, but it also boasted saxophone cameos from Paul Heskatt of the Swinging Cats and the admirable Lee Thompson of Madness.

Furthermore, you may be interested to know that the Special AKA Live extended player, released in January 1980, boasts the record for the highest chart entry of any single from this celebrated stable. It catapulted into the UK Top 40 at number 15 on its first week, and then joined an elite club of releases which jumped to the top spot having previously resided outside of the coveted Top 10. This EP became only the second extended player to reach the UK pop summit. It included four live cover versions of ska classics, namely Guns Of Navarone, Long Shot Kick De Bucket, Liquidator, and Skinhead Moonstomp.

Finally, the fine single ‘Do Nothing’ might have climbed further than a UK peak of number 4 in January 1981, were it not for the recent assassination of John Lennon. The Beatles’ legend posthumously dominated the highest echelons of the UK singles charts in early 1981 as the British record-buyers re-familiarised themselves with such items as ‘Happy Christmas [War Is Over]‘, ‘Imagine’, and ‘Woman’. A ‘Top Of The Pops’ appearance by the Specials performing ‘Do Nothing’ features David Steele of the Beat, standing in for the absent Horace Panter. Steele, who later became a Fine Young Cannibal, was nicknamed ‘Shuffle’, and he can be found shuffling his way around the stage on the likes of ‘Do Nothing’ and previously on the commendable cover version, ‘Tears Of A Clown’.

Oh and regrettably the 2-Tone label was unable to conquer the prized USA singles charts, but given the sometimes questionable musical taste of north Americans, this comes as no surprise. Nevertheless, the Specials and the English Beat in particular cultivated a cult following on account of their concerts across the Atlantic pond.

Right, I shall first remind y’all of ten recommended 2-Tone albums, then compile a discography of the main 2 Tone singles, and also throw in a few other bits and pieces too. Easy skanking!

Specials by the Specials [1979]; peaked at 4 in the UK

Too Much Pressure by the Selecter [1980]; peaked at 5 in the UK

More Specials by the Specials [1980]; peaked at 5 in the UK

Dance Craze by Various Artists [1981]; peaked at 5 in the UK

That Man Is Forward by Rico Rodriguez [1981]

Jama Rico by Rico Rodriguez [1982]

This Are 2-Tone by Various Artists [1983]

In The Studio by the Special AKA [1984]; peaked at 34 in the UK

The 2 Tone Story by Various Artists [ 1989]

The Specials Singles by the Specials [1991]; peaked at 10 in the UK

1979 

Gangsters/The Selecter by the Specials; peaked at 6

This contains the unforgettable line: “Bernie Rhodes knows. Don’t argue.”

The Prince/Madness by Madness; peaked at 16

The A-side is a tribute to Prince Buster. The B-side is a song by ‘the prince’.

On My Radio/Too Much Pressure by the Selecter; peaked at 8

Rudy, A Message To You/Nite Klub by the Specials; peaked at 10

This was one of many tracks to feature Dick Cuthell and Rico Rodriguez.

Tears Of A Clown/Ranking Full Stop by the Beat; peaked at 6

This was a cover version of a 1970 UK chart-topper for Smokey Robinson.

1980

The Special AKA, Live EP by the Specials; peaked at 1

Featuring ‘Too Much Too Young’, this was a UK chart-topper for 2 weeks.

Let’s Do Rock Steady/Ruder Than You by the Bodysnatchers; peaked at 22

Three Minute Hero by the Selecter; peaked at 16

Rat Race/Rude Buoys Outa Jail by the Specials; peaked at 5

Missing Words by the Selecter; peaked at 23

Easy Life/Too Experienced by the Bodysnatchers; peaked at 50

Stereotype/International Jet Set by the Specials; peaked at 6

This double A-side jumped from 25 to number 6 and then back down to 22!

Do Nothing/Maggie’s Farm by the Specials; peaked at 4

1981

Ghost Town/Friday Night, Saturday Morning by the Specials; peaked at 1

This single was ‘Top Of The Pops’ for three weeks during June and July.

1982

The Boiler by Rhoda Dakar & the Special AKA; peaked at 35

This monologue about rape was written by a few of the Bodysnatchers.

1983

Bright Lights/Racist Friend by the Special AKA; peaked at 60

1984

Nelson Mandela/Break Down The Door by the Special AKA; peaked at 9

Girlfriend by the Special AKA; peaked at 51

Jerry Dammers bravely took lead vocals in the absence of Stan Campbell.

My first 2-Tone record: ‘Dance Craze’ [1981] which was a live album

My favourite 2-Tone track: International Jet Set by the Specials [1980]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LCQ0OQq314

My least favourite 2-Tone track: War Crimes by the Special AKA [1982]

My favourite 2-Tone instrumental: Destroy Them by Rico Rodriguez [1982]

                         COMMERCIAL BRAKE

‘A Pop Revolution’ by the invisible man is a survey of music from 1965-1969

  •                          Oh Sam Bin Laden: commentator and satirist

                         A ‘SPECIAL’ 2-TONE YEAR [by Gary Watton]

For each and every week in the following item, there was at least one 2-Tone single occupying a place in the UK Top 75 charts. This was all the more remarkable, given that the newly-born 2-Tone did not have a huge marketing budget and its stable of artists were all brand spanking new to the music industry. This renders this achievement by this small but significant record label all the more astonishing. When I browsed through the following chronology, I found it noticeable that in almost every instance, a 2-Tone single was not issued until its predecessor was on the decline in the charts. I don’t know if this was pure coincidence or a deliberate policy to avoid different 2-Tone acts jeopardising each other’s attempts to ascend the singles league table. The only obvious exception was when the Specials’ second single charted a mere two weeks after ‘On My Radio’. Fortunately, in this instance, the Selecter’s debut single was not adversely affected by Rudy’s ‘rude’ incursion onto the airwaves.

Right, let me take you back down memory lane to the year from the summer of 1979 to the summer of 1980……….

The chart position for the week ending Saturday:

28th July – Gangsters [74]

4th August – Gangsters [41]

11th August – Gangsters [24]

18th August – Gangsters [18]

25th August – Gangsters [8]

1st September – Gangsters [6]; The Prince [74]

8th September – Gangsters [6]; The Prince [52]

15th September – Gangsters [11]; The Prince [37]

22nd September – Gangsters [19]; The Prince [23]

29th September – The Prince [21]; Gangsters [36]

6th October – The Prince [16]; Gangsters [44]

13th October – The Prince [19]; Gangsters [61]; On My Radio [64]

20th October – The Prince [22]; On My Radio [47]

27th October – On My Radio [26]; The Prince [28]; A Message To You Rudy [41]

3rd November – On My Radio [21]; A Message To You Rudy [28]; The Prince [53]

10th November – On My Radio [9]; A Message To You Rudy [19]; The Prince [71]

17th November – On My Radio [8]; A Message To You Rudy [10]

24th November – A Message To You Rudy [12]; On My Radio [16]

1st December – A Message To You Rudy [17]; On My Radio [28]

8th December – A Message To You Rudy [32]; On My Radio [43]; Tears Of A Clown [67]

15th December – Tears Of A Clown [31]; A Message To You Rudy [54]

22nd December – Tears Of A Clown [20]; A Message To You Rudy [74]

29th December* – Tears Of A Clown [20]; A Message To You Rudy [74]

*There were no new chart positions for this week.

1980

5th January – Tears Of A Clown [17]; A Message To You Rudy [67]

12th January – Tears Of A Clown [6]; A Message To You Rudy [59]

19th January – Tears Of A Clown [8]; A Message To You Rudy [69]

26th January – Tears Of A Clown [11]; Special AKA Live EP [15]; A Message To You Rudy [74]

2nd February – Special AKA Live EP [1]; Tears Of A Clown [17]; Three Minute Hero [29]

9th February – Special AKA Live EP [1]; Three Minute Hero [21]; Tears Of A Clown [37]

16th February – Special AKA Live EP [2]; Three Minute Hero [16]; Tears Of A Clown [52]

23rd February – Special AKA Live EP [4]; Three Minute Hero [21]

1st March – Special AKA Live EP [13]; Three Minute Hero [27]

8th March – Special AKA Live EP [21]; Three Minute Hero [33]

15th March – Let’s Do Rock Steady [44]; Special AKA Live EP [48]

22nd March – Let’s Do Rock Steady [31]; Special AKA Live EP [64]

29th March – Let’s Do Rock Steady [24]; Missing Words [51]; Special AKA Live EP [71]

5th April – Let’s Do Rock Steady [27]; Missing Words [34]

12th April – Let’s Do Rock Steady [22]; Missing Words [30]

19th April – Let’s Do Rock Steady [22]; Missing Words [26]

26th April – Missing Words [23]; Let’s Do Rock Steady [24]

3rd May – Missing Words [24]; Let’s Do Rock Steady [26]

10th May – Missing Words [37]; Let’s Do Rock Steady [60]

17th May – Missing Words [43]

24th May – Rat Race [18]

31st May – Rat Race [8]

7th June – Rat Race [5]

14th June – Rat Race [7]

21st June – Rat Race [11]

28th June – Rat Race [10]

5th July – Rat Race [33]

12th July – Rat Race [42]

19th July – Easy Life [71]; Rat Race [75]

26th July – Easy Life [50]

2nd August – Easy Life [59]

Share this post
Repost0
Published by The author Gary Watton - in Popular music in the 1980s
write a comment …
January 13 2013 7 13 /01 /January /2013 13:14

Posthumous Pardons Please! by the historian Gary Watton

          One fine Friday morn in late March whilst delaying my departure from the comfort zone of my bed, I decided to browse through a nearby history book. I randomly picked up ‘Six Wives’ by David Starkey. I chose well. I immediately re-acquainted myself with the demise of tragic, young Catherine Howard, the penultimate wife of the ageing, obese, ugly Henry VIII. After re-familiarising myself with this sad tale, I journeyed a little further back in time [six years to be precise] to the equally memorable downfall of the controversial Anne Boleyn in May 1536.

[artist's depiction of the execution of Catherine Howard; February 1542]
     History has actually been rather kind to Anne Boleyn because while she has come through the mists of time to be viewed sympathetically, she was far from popular with contemporaries. Catholic England was still smarting from the royal eviction of Catherine of Aragon, and Anne Boleyn was portrayed as a scheming, headstrong mistress who was intent on reforming the old religion. In fact, it would be no exaggeration to state that Anne Boleyn would have made exceptionally good tabloid fodder. In the end, the female usurper was herself jettisoned. However, the two executed wives of old Harry of England have been favourably depicted in modern movies as eye-catching young women who paid the ultimate price when they fell foul of their husband, the king. Furthermore, to quote a piece of modern cynicism, perhaps death was ‘a good career move’. There is something ‘cool’ and enigmatic about martyrdom, the sense of a young life taken before its time.
           
   [portrait of Anne Boleyn, the doomed second wife of Henry VIII]
     It may be difficult to fathom for modern-day observers, but in bygone days of yore [at least until the English Civil War and the subsequent Glorious Revolution reared their collective heads], the English monarch operated with carte blanche on the basis of what historians refer to as the ‘divine right of kings’. Believing themselves to be appointed and anointed by God as his representative to officiate over their nation state, various sovereigns saw it as both their duty and their right to govern without any pesky subjects inflicting checks and balances upon their authority. England in the first half of the sixteenth century was not yet a land ripe for constitutional monarchy, and indeed the kingdom had to be dragged kicking and screaming towards such a system of governance well over a century later. It is against this backdrop that the king was not only the head of state but he also had literally licence to kill, a power that he wasn’t shy at utilising. To defy the monarch was tantamount to defying God and defying the very land on which you lived. Such behaviour met literally with zero tolerance, and anyone who undermined the sovereign could expect to pay the full penalty for their apparent treachery. Treason was an offence that led to death, and frequently a protracted and horrible death into the bargain. Of course, if you were of noble birth, you might be spared the ritual of a hung, drawn and quartered spectacle in favour of the apparently lenient punishment of beheading. Meanwhile, a female traitor could ordinarily be expected to burn at the stake. Such were the unenlightened times of Tudor England.
     Cutting a long story short, what struck me with Starkey’s account of the doomed lives of Catherine and Anne was a sense of injustice which hung over their arrest and conviction. Catherine’s crime of having an apparently platonic relationship with a young man is exceptionally small potatoes, especially when one considers that she was a typical immature teenager. Of course, such behaviour was regarded as infidelity, and infidelity towards your husband, the king, God’s right-hand man in England, was totally unacceptable…..Or was it? As for Anne, she was reportedly tried on trumped-up charges which include the rather incredulous accusation of incest with her brother and the equally ludicrous notion of witchcraft. For the scheming Henry to marry his mistress Jane Seymour, his second wife had to be thoroughly demonised. Perhaps Anne’s biggest crime was that she failed to furnish her other half with a male heir. Well, historians and legal experts can argue into the night and well beyond about the justification for what I believe amounts to the judicial murder of these two unfortunate souls.      
     Fast-forwarding two decades, I would also like to throw into the mix, Lady Jane Grey, who unwittingly found herself thrust upon the throne of the kingdom but whose tenure therein was a pitiable nine days. This young lady was a mere fifteen years of age when she was elbowed aside by the Catholics’ choice, Mary, daughter of Henry and Catherine of Aragon. At first, the incoming monarch simply regarded Lady Jane as an inconvenience as opposed to a foe, but the tide well and truly turned against Lady Jane when Wyatt’s abortive Protestant rebellion of 1554 was possibly designed to restore the teenager to the throne. Mary was ‘obliged’ to permanently remove the focal point for all the reformists out there who needed a champion of their cause. Just like any good twentieth century Mafia boss, Queen Mary had to concede that Lady Jane had outlived her usefulness. Thus, young Jane would also join Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard in an elite club which met their untimely deaths within the confines of the Tower of London, on what is now called Tower Green.
                        
  [the execution of Lady Jane Grey in 1554, painted by Paul Delaroche] 
    I must at this point confess to possessing a morbid fascination with such tragic young lives, especially how they were compelled to confront the imminent spectre of death by execution – a truly macabre ordeal. 
     More than anything, what has struck me about these three grim episodes is the sheer injustice of it all. These young women [two of whom were teenagers] were cruelly killed on the basis of a judicial process which certainly would not stand scrutiny in the twenty-first century world. In fact, to quote modern legal parlance, such convictions would be regarded as totally unsafe nowadays. If capital punishment was a trifle melodramatic, not to mention unwarranted, then surely it falls on the collective conscience of subsequent generations to issue such high-profile personages with a pardon for crimes that would be regarded as small fare in our modern permissive, liberal kingdom. Is it not therefore long overdue that a posthumous pardon be conferred on this tragic trio? I think that the case for such an act of generosity and forgiveness is compelling. Of course, perhaps forgiveness is an inappropriate word, because it implies wrong-doing. It is highly contentious to state that either Anne Boleyn or Lady Jane were indeed guily of wrong-doing. Sinners they were; treasonable criminals they were not. Catherine Howard by contrast had been ‘guilty’ of pre-marital sex, admittedly before Henry cast his lecherous eyes on such an ill-suiting bride. Perhaps pardon is the more suitable term. Or perhaps forgiveness is equally apt.
     Quite why such a noble cause has not been long since pursued escapes me. Would it be politically incorrect to correct the legal abuses of the past? Or would it be politically expedient to turn the other cheek and ignore such travesties of justice? Could it be that the venerated Harry of England’s reputation would be besmirched if we were to grant a twenty-first century pardon to his apparently naughty wives? Oh yes, I guess that there is nothing quite like whitewashing the past and maintaining the legend that is the great Henry VIII. Well, I did chance upon a brilliant mural in east Belfast in which the late David Ervine [an Ulster loyalist who was no stranger to crime and punishment] is quoted as wisely stating that those who ignore the past are condemned to repeating it. Therefore, naive fool that I am, I wish to launch a crusade to have the three young ladies awarded a pardon for their nonsense crimes. A failure to wipe the slate clean and forgive them [if forgiveness is necessary] would be itself almost unforgivable. Also, while modern Britain still impersonates rather unconvincingly a Christian nation [albeit a cosmopolitan, heterogeneous one] is it not incumbent upon a nation with Christian values to practise the art of forgiveness?  
     Mercifully, I am not intent on traversing the tiresome route of accumulating a multitude of signatures for a petition or instigating yet another futile Facebook campaign. No, one must direct the need for belated justice directly at the nation’s law-makers [and law-breakers?] in parliament. I regard any movement to restore the good name of the tragic trio as neither a left-wing nor a right-wing cause celebre. Instead, the need to confront the crimes, injustices, and abuses of our past and not bury them under the carpet of time is something which transcends all ideologies and faiths. Of course in the corridors of power, inertia amidst bureaucratic red tape reigns supreme. However, it simply won’t do any more for all and sundry to shrug our shoulders at the injustice of yesteryear and excuse them away with something akin to ‘Oh times were hard in those days, and it was hard cheese if you broke the law’. Sorry, that attitude must not be allowed to prevail. If the Holocaust and the horrors of the early twentieth century justifiably stir us to feel nothing but a deep disapproval of the agents of genocide, then why draw the line at the butchery of a century ago. Where indeed do we draw the line in terms of time elapsed? 
     Britain has always prided herself on being a pioneer of constitutional monarchy and parliamentary democracy and would continue to claim that her human rights record is second to none. Would it not be a further boost to the nation’s ego if the UK was willing to demonstrate to the rest of the world a willingness to confront and correct the mistakes of bygone centuries? In taking such a lead, the UK would be encouraging other nations to examine the distant past and apply a modern judgment upon state crimes and atrocities whilst pronouncing that previous bogeymen and women deserve to have their good name returned to them. Of course, it will be argued that it is simply not enough to dwell on three high-profile ladies who were born into privilege. What about the countless wretched souls who perished in prison and on the gallows and were transported? Shall we forgive them or declare them innocent? Well, clearly, it would be too cumbersome and downright impractical to re-investigate all the crimes of past times, but in the absence of a historical enquiry team, is it beyond the reach of the Prime Minister or the head of state [or the Home Secretary to be precise] to issue the occasional statement which addresses the abuses of previous centuries? I for one would argue in favour of a general posthumous pardon for all the Protestant and Catholic martyrs of the sixteenth and seventeenth century in England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland who died holding steadfast to their faith. Their only crime was not to retreat from their religious convictions, which itself led to their convictions, and frequently a horrible death, burned at the stake. Again, posthumous pardons are the very least that we can offer such courageous saints as Thomas More or his polar opposites Ridley and Latimer.
     Pedants will suggest that why stop at the three named sixteenth century femmes fatales? Why not rehabilitate Charles I or Mary Queen of Scots or Walter Raleigh et cetera et cetera? Well folks, don’t let me stop you from pursuing such a campaign, but in the first instance I think that it would be prudent to address the legalised crimes against Anne, Catherine, and Jane [and the persecuted martyrs]. If others wish to take up the baton and focus on other atrocities and legal travesties, be my guest. However, since the miscarriages of justice visited upon Anne, Catherine, and Jane have perhaps captured the world’s imagination more than any other Tower tragedy, then they seem to serve as a logical starting point, or at least a posthumous pardon for them would by implication be an acknowledgment that many less famous souls were also victims of a Tudor terror whose pursuit of justice leaves an awful lot to be desired and frankly pardoned!
     With the Olympics paying a visit to London, there is an opportunity to win a gold medal in demonstrating to the world our generosity of spirit. Furthermore, the Tower of London remains the staple diet of many a tourist’s itinerary. How good would it be if the multitude of visitors could study a plaque at the Tower of London which confirms a posthumous pardon for the famous victims who met their early deaths at Tower Green. Procrastination and indifference is itself criminal. Only immediate posthumous pardons can reinforce modern Britain’s claim to be a shining beacon of justice.
 
Share this post
Repost0
Published by The author Gary Watton - in British politics
write a comment …
January 12 2013 6 12 /01 /January /2013 11:34

Margaret Moron: a cheating, cowardly crook by Gary Watton

I am disgusted that the disgraced former MP Margaret Moran was able to escape prison on Friday the 14th of December when a team of so-called experts [or softies more likely] decreed that Moran was too doo-lally to enter a plea. This is a sickening example of a feeble society where nobody is willing to accept responsibility for anything. When our political superiors lack the integrity to put their hands up and admit their own wrongdoing and have the courage to face the consequences, like the rest of us poor bastards, then this country is finished. No wonder, the yoof go looting, when they see the middle-class law-makers deteriorate into white-collar law-breakers. The trouble with the actress, Margaret Moron, is that having been a legislator [and by implication, a parliamentary law-maker], she knows how the system works, and is therefore ideally placed to work the system in her cowardly favour. She is one of many bourgeois villains who appear to be too ill to stand trial but who were in perfectly rude health to commit crime in the first place. Chirac in France and Mubarak in Egypt are but two recent examples of folk ‘doing a Petain’ and faking ill health in order to achieve leniency. There should be a re-trial. Otherwise British justice is a sick joke. As someone who broke the law many years ago, I had to take my punishment on the chin. It would be good if other high-ranking hypocrites accepted blame too and took responsibility for their actions, like the rest of us plebs. To thwart justice and cling onto their pampered lifestyle sends out a terrible signal to the rest of the society. I believe that the expression that springs to mind is: “one rule for them; one rule for the rest of us”. Well, I am ****ing livid about you Margaret Moron. [No doubt, the defence team will manage to ensure that the convicted detective April Casburn also escapes a prison sentence after she was found guilty arising out of her attempt to sell information to the News Of The World. I find it breathtakingly astonishing that various middle-class women avoid incarceration by bringing on the tears and persuading the judge that they are not fit for jail. If someone like Margaret Moron is deemed as too ill for prison, are the legal authorities not aware that prisons have hospitals? Silly bastards.]
               Sickened,
                Gary Watton; author, commentator, and historian; December 2012
Share this post
Repost0
Published by The author Gary Watton - in British politics
write a comment …
January 11 2013 5 11 /01 /January /2013 09:51

Great Instrumentals by the author and historian Gary Watton

GENTLE INTRODUCTION:

I would like to state my expertise as a leading authority on the most memorable instrumentals in the history of modern, popular music. Have a browse through the list below and discover some terrific tunes and by all means suggest any omissions.

xo, Gary Watton; highly successful loser

A Pop Revolution

CLASSIC INSTRUMENTALS SINCE 1950 [compiled by Gary Watton] 

 

The 1950s:

Cherry Pink And Apple Blossom White – Perez Prado*

Moulin Rouge – Mantovani*

Oh Mein Papa – Eddie Calvert

Poor People Of Paris – Winifred Atwell*

Red River Rock – Johnny and the Hurricanes

Peter Gunn – Duane Eddy

Roulette – Russ Conway* [or Side Saddle – Russ Conway*]

 

The 1960s:

Theme From A Summer Place – Percy Faith

“ Only a heart of stone could disdain this offering.”

Kon Tiki – the Shadows* [ or Dance On – the Shadows*]

“We should all be grateful for the authors of …’Kon-Tiki’, ‘Dance On’…”

Nut Rocker – B Bumble and the Stingers*

On The Rebound – Floyd Cramer*

Stranger On The Shore – Acker Bilk

“…one ought not to overlook the fine strings that accompany him.”

Green Onions – Booker T and the MGs

“Rarely has an organ, drums, and rhythm guitar functioned in such perfect harmony.”

Telstar – the Tornados

“…stunning instrumental…formidable museum artefact of the 1960s.”

Diamonds – Jet Harris and Tony Meehan*

“Almost exclusively a duel between the drums and Harris’s bass guitar…”

Spanish Flea – Herb Alpert

“…this musical item is just so pleasing to the ears.”

Captain Soul – the Byrds

“…the guitar interplay and harmonica contrive to produce an outstanding tune.”

Let’s Go Away For A While – the Beach Boys

Beck’s Bolero – the Jeff Beck Group

“This three-minute wonder boasted five of the top performers in the trade…”

Flying – the Beatles

Pow R Toc H – Pink Floyd

Classical Gas – Mason Williams

“The listener is treated to some fine picking by Mr Williams on his acoustic guitar…”

Jill’s America – Ennio Morricone

“Alas this piece was never issued as a single…”

Ogden’s Nut Gone Flake – the Small Faces

Albatross – Fleetwood Mac*

“…Peter Green…responsible for the guitar treat that was ‘Albatross’…”

Black Mountain Side – Led Zeppelin [or Moby Dick – Led Zeppelin]

“…Jimmy Page…made a massive contribution to… ‘Moby Dick’ recording.”

Dollar In The Teeth – the Upsetters [or Return Of Django – the Upsetters]

“…the house band of renowned Jamaican producer, Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry…”

Liquidator – Harry J. All Stars

 

The 1970s:

Elizabethan Reggae – Boris Gardner

Samba Pa Ti – Santana

Whole Lotta Love – CCS

Hot Butter – Popcorn

Amazing Grace – the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards*

Eye Level – the Simon Park Orchestra*

Mouldy Old Dough – Lieutenant Pigeon*

Obscured By Clouds – Pink Floyd [or Mudmen – Pink Floyd]

Also Sprach Zarathustra – Deodato

Dance With The Devil – Cozy Powell

The Entertainer – Marvin Hamlisch

Chase Side Shoot Up – Brian Bennett

Pick Up The Pieces – the Average White Band

The Shuffle – Van McCoy [or The Hustle – Van McCoy]

Oxygene, Part IV – Jean-Michel Jarre

“…Oxygene (Part IV) is overflowing with stunning synthesizer sounds.”

AP Special – Augustus Pablo

Arrival – Abba

Portsmouth – Mike Oldfield

Fanfare For The Common Man – Emerson, Lake & Palmer

Listen – the Clash

Magic Fly – Space 

Song For Guy – Elton John [or Funeral For A Friend – Elton John]

“mouthwatering…owes its existence to the tragic end…of Guy Burchett.” 

Cavatina – the Shadows

Swan Lake – Madness [or Tarzan's Nuts - Madness]

The Selecter – The Selecter

Rockestra Theme – Rockestra

 

The 1980s:

Space Invaders – the Pretenders

Adella – UB40 [or Signing Off – UB40 or Neon Haze – UB40]

Another Journey By Train – the Cure [or Descent – the Cure]

Mantovani – the Swinging Cats

The Teams That Meet In Caffs – Dexy’s Midnight Runners

Time Is Tight – the Clash

Europa – Blondie

Holiday Fortnight – the Specials

Chi Mai – Ennio Morricone

Droned – Phil Collins

Go For It – Stiff Little Fingers

The Opium Eaters – Madness

Bonzo’s Montreux – Led Zeppelin

“…in which John Bonham showed off his drumming skills.”

Chariots Of Fire – Vangelis

Easter Island – Rico Rodriguez [or That Man Is Forward - Rico Rodriguez]

“…the hugely danceable rhythm of ‘That Man Is Forward’.”

Exodus – Bad Manners [or King Ska Fa – Bad Manners]

Somebody Up There Likes You – Simple Minds

Circus – The Jam

Close To The Edit – the Art Of Noise

4th of July – U2

Love On A Real Train – Tangerine Dream

Elegia – New Order

“…deserves to be ranked as one of the ten best instrumentals of all time.”

Oscillate Wildly – the Smiths

The Wild Cats Of Kilkenny – the Pogues

Axel F – Harold Faltermeyer

Riot City – Jerry Dammers

The Mighty Ship – the Housemartins

Va Va Voom – Gil Evans

Crockett’s Theme – Jan Hammer

Jimmy Hickey’s Waltz – the Waterboys

The Sun In The Stream – Enya [or The Longships – Enya]

Zaar – Peter Gabriel [or Of These, Hope – Peter Gabriel]

“…jaw-dropping instrumental…Here is music that is intense, with an eastern sound…”

 

The 1990s:

Endgame – REM [or New Orleans Instrumental No.1 – REM]

Inner Flight – Primal Scream

Shepherd Moons – Enya [or The Memory Of Trees – Enya]

Surfin USM – Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine

Bentley’s Gonna Sort You Out – Bentley Rhythm Ace

“I first encountered this top tune on the excellent radio station called Chill.”

Children – Robert Miles

Everloving – Moby [or Now I Let It Go – Moby or Porcelain – Moby]

 

The 21st century:

Eple – Royksopp

Ghostwriter – RJD2

Give It Away – the Zero 7

I Can Almost See You – Hammock

In All The Wrong Places – Ulrich Schnauss

Monika’s Summer – Future Loop Foundation

Pacific Memories – Fenomenon

Slip Into Something More Comfortable – Kinobe

Sunset Glow – 808Funk

Yachts – Coco Steel & Lovebomb

Any Other Name – Thomas Newman

*denotes UK Number One hit singles.

The Song For Today

Share this post
Repost0
Published by The author Gary Watton: young, gifted, and white - in Popular music in the 1990s
write a comment …
January 10 2013 4 10 /01 /January /2013 10:56

A beautiful sample from the music book, 'You Are A Tube!'; xo

 

How Bizarre by OMC (1996)

 

This is just a breezy, easy listening pop song, no more, no less. OMC stands for Otara Millionaires Club. What was bizarre was that an act from New Zealand should achieve a hit single. That doesn't happen every day.

 

 

destination unknowen lol [qewr4231]

 

I can't believe that we are living in a crazy, messed up, beautiful world, yet some people still insist on fighting with each other via YouTube about who knows the 90's and who doesn't. I mean, really all it takes to know anything about the 90's is a Google search. First world problems, I guess...[gracelisbeth]

 

author: First world problems!! While the Third World starves, our spoilt brats bicker at each other on YouTube.

 

for those who dont know what this songs about its about a group called Otara Millionaires Club which is 0MC and basically its talking about the cops trying to arrest them for commiting crimes and shit when he says buy the rights its about his friend being bashed and punched up by cops for possesion of drugs.. [Christizm]

 

author: Apparently Otara was a poor part of town, so the use of the word 'Millionaires' was an ironic in-joke.

 

hmm just enjoy the song.. :) [kiks740]

 

My dad and I used to listen to this when I was little :) [HannahMJ430]

 

...The 1990's Great times that will never come back. [Perucho20ie]

 

I used to think this song was how was ah? Finally found it, and back to visit again Just love the beat and tempo. [bellaboo387]



I'm 44 and the 90s were a lot happier and the music was better! [GloriaD5767]



This song rocked. I'm 40 and can remember the 70's, 80's and 90's. But the 2000's...they suck now, but you guys might be fondly remembering them one day. There are always songs, movies, people that you'll remember with fondness in the future. Yes, even the 2000's will one day be considered a cool time period. [raydeen1]

 

author: Strange but true! Folk will one day look back and recall the greatness of Lady Gaga and X Factor!

 

One And One by Robert Miles (1996)

 Mr Miles treated us all to an outstanding album called 'Dreamland'. It  included this hit single. Maria Nayler delivers the ravishing vocals, and the end product is a tune that is a frontrunner for the song of the decade. Now this, Slimin Cow, is what I emphatically call the X Factor!

 

 

makes me cry everytime! [botoxbabe1]

 

This song is so beautiful. The lyrics always make me tear up. And i love that ooooh at the end followed by what I think is the best instrumental ending EVER in a song. That part at the end always make me close my eyes and think back to the good times I have had in my life. This will always be one of my all time favorites. Heard this song on the radio yesterday and almost started crying. It make me remember all long lost friends and all that are still here with me. I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! [MegaDIF]



I love the piano... [Razolape]

 

breathtaking, beautiful, awesome, unrepeatable [MrGriffinb]

 

Love it. Mind blowing as always. This song manages to evoke emotions every I listen to it. [manishbg]



Bring back the 90's what a tune [brownleerfc]

 

une chanson que j'adore sublime!! [bloom371]

 

This song is great! [19GirlBad]

 

"His debut album Dreamland was released on June 7, 1996 in Europe, and released a few days later in the United States, with a new track, "One & One", sung by Maria Nayler and written by songwriters Billy Steinberg, Rick Nowels and Marie-Claire D'Ubaldo." - Quote from Wikipedia [jeff46]



I feel butterflies in my stomach everytime I hear this song [natagaima]

 

ecstasy :) [114162033]

 

Angels by Robbie Williams (1997)

Stoke-on-Trent may be cockney rhyming slang but it has a bigger claim to fame than that. It is the home of Robbie Williams. Gosh, how do you sum up Robbie W in a sentence? Well, the guy is star quality with a wide range of songs that illustrate his talent. He also seems a bit more human and personable than a lot of aloof performers. Robbie exemplified his ability to record a heartfelt ballad with this stunning tune. Only a heart made of stone could fail to be moved by this UK Top Five hit single.

 

 

Had someone in mind all the way through this song. [summergal181]

 

for all those who have lost a loved one, i am very sorry, i know how that feels like. I hope that songs like this will help you through all the pain. [taylorswiftlover961]



beautiful. <3 [cllarahh]

 

I love Robbie :) [SarahConnorRealLove]

 

Love this song [melbita100]

 

From what I heard, the song is about his aunt and uncle. Him and Guy Chambers wrote the song in 25 minutes. For the chorus, they were inspired by sitting at a cafe watching the water fountain. Robbins was also partially inspired by the angel resting on top of the Stoke-on-Tent town hall he saw from his bedroom every night as a child. [IceGirl2772]



robbie was better without take that and take that were better without robbie :) [DrBadwolf18]

 

author: Good comments.

 

i love this song.... a very touching song... <3 [iamkhur]

 

you just can't dislike this song, can you ? [Sanannina]

 

i'm loving this song instead [arsenalrule54]

 

Absolutly not a song you should watch when you recently broke up. ='( [glenndermage]

 

 

At The River by Groove Armada (1997)

If you're fond of sand dunes and salty air, quaint little villages here and there, then you will most probably appreciate this item. If you're fond of chill-out dance music with a trombone, then you will equally like this tune. Originally released as a limited edition in 1997, this record made a bigger splash in the UK charts a couple of years later.

 

 

My sister is responsible for the nonstop loop of this song in my head after she turned me onto it. [kdtsva]



i dont know why, but the part where it kicks in makes me sad...:[Fanns23x]



Bring on the summer!!!!!!! [bonitaflorencefield]

 

This is but one awesome song! [redmatchbox]

author: Hey thanks, dude.

 

If I ran an airline, I would defintely put this piece of music on my planes duirng boarding, taxeing and disembarking of passengers. [JoeRoss1993]

 

author: Richard Branson, please take note of this great suggestion!

 

its a cool track as always for the summer. time to relax by the beach with a glass of margarita or mojito. [alfidino]



this is summer chill out sun set styleeeee [soloscriptura1]

 

This song reminds me of when i went to cyprus for my dads wedding :') the gd old days, this song was played all time :) [lulu3966]



when the world ends i want listen this track!!!!!!!! [JAKOMAD1]

 

..this melody let you dream or think something .. it gives you different emotions, beautiful.. : ) [m00ngaz3r75]

 

Wonderful creation [1985NIRVANA]

 

Classic indeed [TNTJahv1er]

 

Encore Une Fois by Sash! (1997)

Okay so it is lyrically impotent, but in mitigation this is an infectious, high-energy tune designed to get dance-floors shaking. This Euro-disco or trance single just missed out on becoming a UK chart-topper. I guess it was the kind of record that had 'sixties and 'seventies music lovers shaking their heads in disgust. Ooh la la.

 

 

Encore une fois! Let's do it again :) [TUDSTERCartoons]

 

Thumbs up for this is proper good old trance and none of this modern crap!! :D [Josh17160]

 

i like the bit from 0.00 to 3.48 [NBAeasternsnewplayer]

 

Handbag music :) [dkdileep]

 

compared to decent 90's dacne music this is cheese [manicbassa]

 

Best club beat ever..... [roybarakat1]

 

reminds me of the world cup in france 98 [dawe2569]

 

this is the beast of beatsss [audaciousfreak]

 

This song was fantastic infact the album with song on it was fantastic. [edgetiq]



This was so damn good for the 90s, cant beat german trance/techno. [DG6985]



this brings back memories, the good old days [deantothea]

 

This is one of the classics of my childhood. This type of music was all I ever listened to.Half the shit now, especially the trance thats aroound today, is shit. [IamThehaT]



the world changes. you change. it doesn't mean shitty music just that your old and i'm old there will always be good music but like anything good we have to find it. [solidusreaper]

 

 

Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer (1997)

I guess that this is what Kurt Cobain would call a radio-friendly unit shifter. Many units were indeed shifted, as this delicious pop song narrowly fell short of the summit of the Billboard chart whilst peaking in a Top Five position in the UK and Canada. It's quite easy to understand why.

 

i wish i could live this song... it's magical, l wish that special person actually WAS here... (siggh) [ThisMyUsernayme]

 

it's 2011 and I'm still listening to this song $: [ishniCky]

 

You'll wear those shoes and I will wear that dress... [alexcars002]

 

These type of songs make you feel like you're in love even when you have no one :D [PandafulCupcake]



excellent song, cant stop listening to it, girlfriend isnt happy about that lol [PED19777]



Charm, beauty, innocence and the essence of poetry - such songs are the joy of life, pure and unadulterated. A true gem that gives hope and makes me a better human. [mireklalas]



wot can i say just a beautiful song. one of my favourites from this band,its one of them songs you will listen to again and again simple lyrics and basic music seem to make the best songs, i love this song thanks woz boooth ............................. [wozbooth]



I'm usually into heavier stuff, Oasis, Pink Floyd etc, but this cheers me up every time I hear it! [241357]



Beautiful song! [ASIMiss]

 

Great song!! - lovely, classy, freshy and Rock....!! ^^ [hardgreenhorn]

 

This song takes me back to a time where everything seemed simple …Hindsight always 20/20 [MrMellowMuse]



I want someone to make a parody of this song called "Fist Me." [jzigsjzigs]

 

Torn by Natalie Imbruglia (1997)

The lovely Natalie followed the well-worn path of young Aussie hitmakers learning the ropes at the home of budding singers, Erinsborough. Anyhow, Nat had to make do with the runners-up spot in the UK charts but this remains a very listenable tune over a decade later.

 

 

I heard this on the radio a couple nights ago and was just slapped upside the face with nostalgia. [ArcticFoxKit]



i prefer the original than any cover of this song :)) [nicole3695]

 

Remember buying this, pissed it only got to no 2. [studas2011]

 

one of the best female artists of the 90's... [metalsadman]

 

this song is my life..... </3 [xDumPliNxx3]

 

love this song and what the song says i something feel like that ;( [bebekaTAM]



i wish i found her naked on the floor but i think shes old now [WesleyPipes82]



Song from my childhood!! [GamerBritg89]

 

It's really sad that people prefer that One Direction bullshit over this. I have no hope for you people. [menimEisevoLyrics]

 

author: Some people nowadays are reared on X Factor and the like. It's really sad but totally true.

 

Love this song [Sandra3594]

 

Isn't this crazy that this is a cover of an obscure Ednaswap song? [BrettMiller33]



she is so beautiful! [Szabmeister]

 

one of my favorites :)) [hassanie10]

 

One Direction does it well but she's so good! [maddiemusic123]

 

Beautiful Stranger by Madonna (1999)

She may have been an 'eighties icon, but the queen of pop was still on her throne at the end of the 'nineties and determined to stay there. This danceable delight was released in conjunction with an Austin Powers film, and it was arguably Madonna's best single from a decade that had earlier yielded the UK chart-topper 'Vogue' and the outstanding 'Justify My Love'.

  

good song to a good film :) [DemiMonta]

 

her last 90s single.. :( [AndreMeMyselfAndI]

 

This might be better than the song it rips off. [nschulz4537]

 

Michael Myers you wish she would've sang to you,really [donnellraymond4]



sweeeet [SmashGurls4evr]

 

One of my favorite Madonna songs along with "Live to tell" and "Ray of Light" [Burt472]



this make me wanna meet a beautiful smart and lovely stranger [ericainternational]



To know you, is to love you [MrNeomatrix99]

 

Love this madonna song [limeb2010]

 

i forgot how good this is :3 [HausOfJakeh]

 

What is it about this song that makes it so good, that makes it perfectly induce 90's nostalgia huh? [kmitch92]



reminds me of the summer of 99 kept watching this on MTV lol [oblongfan1]



Her Ray of Light album is a masterpiece, the 90s were such an awesome era for music... then it all went downhill. [Clempath]

 

Here With Me by Dido (1999)

The beautiful young woman with the rather unusual name produced an equally stunning hit single at the end of the century which would have kept her and Arista Records solvent for a good few months afterwards. This is a modern pop song that music from other eras could cast an envious eye at.

 

I simply love this song! I've been listening to it since it first came out in 99' and here I am, 12 years later. [grace14518]

 

When ever I hear the main chorus it makes me think of my partner [117halonut]



I love this song [nexs27]

author: That makes two of us.....at least.

 

She must be hurtin. [Jessamaureen]

 

Dido has a nice voice. Roswell did bring this song to my ears. It was a great show, that had a very good theme song. [TCjustlovinmusiq]



I always thought that this was a very cool song to chill after work which has some good memories to it (in Boston at her Album signing right when she hit it big), but NOW the lyrics bring it all too close to home![Sobekain]



I simply love this song.Her best one in my opinion.....It's intense,and has got passion [mabelxxxbsb]



Anyone been dumped lately?? Top" Been Dumped" Song........[TheNell44]

 

i'm a guy and i gotta say, this is a beautiful song! [TheLazyJustice]

 

i won't go, i won't sleep, I CAN'T BREATHE, until you're resting here with me....Sweet!! [bashy0016]



My best friend is obsessed with Dido, I took the time to listen to this song today, and now I know why. This song is so pure and beautiful ^U^ [WetPurplePaint]



She is a jewel with her beauty,voice and karma. [khalleos]

 

Right Here, Right Now by Fatboy Slim (1999)

Norman Cook had been schooled in the super 'eighties pop combo, the Housemartins. He then graduated from Beats International where he visited the top of the UK pop summit again with 'Dub Be Good To Me'. Now Zoe Ball's old fella stepped forth with what could be described right here and right now as the ultimate modern dance anthem.

 

this song always reminds me of seeing league 2 football, especially when the players are coming out of the tunnel, Bristol Rovers FC [McfcxDixon]



this is on a before west ham every week! love it [samyb12345]

 

ahhh those days putting this up loud whenever it came on the radio and recording in a cassette :") [darren55555555]

 

the power went out, and this song played. it is the night, and we are the children [cobrakaitime]



dis song is beast [fionnyindahouse]

 

I was sitting here and this song came into my head and it must of been because I heard it last week and i didnt even realise its because i heard it when i saw Russel Howard. Prior to that had not heard it in years!! [N1XCAFE]



This is such a brilliant song. Such a clever video.. Look how slowly the timer goes out nearer to the end of the video.. almost shows as if time is running out. [TheOfficialResonant]



such an epic song!!! [CianDub]

 

i live in coventry and i went wales last week and for the whole 2hr drive i listened to this full blast epic song [jackbaston123]



Stuck in my head from watching Match of the day because of the music it has before the matches :L [HDHypez]



Indeed it's the Man City pre-match tune. [NLWK110710]

author: Oh you're doing your very best to put me off this terrific tune!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share this post
Repost0
Published by Gary Watton; 'athlete' - in Popular music in the 1990s
write a comment …
December 20 2012 4 20 /12 /December /2012 12:31

An exciting extract from a controversial diary by Ron Gattway

   

Sunday 18th December 

Oh this afternoon I nearly 'lost it'. That's assuming that I ever 'had it' in the first place. I went a-walking for my weekly takeaway fix along Railway Road. I saw a gang of young ragamuffins on my side of the road. Well, I just cannot stand the attitude of these young mobs that hunt around in packs. When I go running, they wouldn't even have the courtesy to move over and let the runners through. They have no manners. Well, I thought to meself, I'm just going to cross to the other side and avoid these tearaways who were tearing my way. Lo and behold, when I crossed the road, they did likewise. I thought well since they are approaching, I am NOT moving over for them. Sure enough, they didn't move and I nearly walked through one of the brats. He or she (I couldn't tell) shouted something after me to compensate for almost being knocked over by moi. Well, little one, you should have a bit of courtesy and not expect everyone to divert themselves for you. It's ironic but this street urchin probably thought that I was rude for not making way! Sorry luvvies, but if you think that you can run rings around your impotent school teachers and your clueless parents, that is fine but I wasn't put on this planet to make way for you and your little gang.



A minute later, I remonstrated with a car for not using its indicator when turning on to Circular Road. I pointed at the vehicle as if to suggest 'what about the indicator, ignorant driver?' Oh it isn't merely that I cannot suffer fools, but I just have a zero tolerance of people full stop. I am akin to the Frederick character in the movie Hannah And Her Sisters.

It's not exactly the most flattering of comparisons. Suffice to say that he couldn't be bothered with mankind either. My state of mind would be almost funny but it's difficult to reconcile myself with existing much longer if all around me just irritates me so profoundly. I know that there are good, heroic, selfless people about, but for every one half-decent person, there are ten more Neanderthals on a mission to ruin what remains of my happiness.

 

Also determined to undermine my joie de vivre are wee Glasgow Wannabees who won again this afternoon against Saint Johnstone by two goals to nil. That should keep their Provos-loving supporters happy, though I guess that they derived more satisfaction from bombing children at Warrington or people attending a Remembrance Day parade at Enniskillen.



Elsewhere in football, the two Manchester clubs both won, thereby reinforcing their commanding position atop the English charts. Arse-nil's recent bubble burst with a defeat at Manchester Mercenaries. Ooh la la.

 

Born on this date: Steve Biko (1946); Steven Spielberg (1946)

Died on this date: Kirsty MacColl (2000); Vaclav Havel (2011)

 

Monday 19th December

It has been reported that North Korea's supremo, Kim Jong-Il has died at the age of 69. This is such an awful blow to democracy. Following on from the deaths of Bin Laden and Gaddafi, this is not proving to be a good year for the world's most notorious bogeymen. I wonder if Mugabe and Assad will be staying indoors under heavy security until the end of 2011.



Sammy Wilson, the Democratic Unionist MP has made light of the old codger's demise with an amusing tweet in which he states that after learning of the death of the tyrant leader of a partitionist northern state, he felt the need to check on the well-being of Peter (Robinson). Nice one, Sam.



Oh the wit has clearly been flying in all directions this wintry day. An old work colleague of mine from my days in the boat bar at Kelly's, Mr Marino Morelli (the Italian hallion) has tickled his Farcebook disciples with the comment that in Liverpool it is only five shoplifting days to go to Christmas. Shoplifting is no joke. I tried lifting a shop once and ended up

off work for several weeks with a bad back.

 

I have ventured through the town centre the last few days and braved the awful Christmas music. It is really hit or miss what Yuletide tosh one is liable to walk into. I seem to have the misfortune of encountering mid-twentieth century USA Christmas stocking fillers. Personally, any Frank Sinatra Christmas song should have died with him and been given a decent burial. Mind you, Bob Dylan released a Christmas album a couple of years ago. I suspect that he was making a late bid to record the worst-ever album.



I learnt on the other day half-reassuringly that the weather pattern this winter has reverted to the traditional fare of Britain being at the merciless mercy of whatever fronts invade us from the Atlantic Ocean.



This afternoon at three o'clock, it struck me that we were only one hour away from darkness. How terrible is that? We could almost give the characters in Arthur Koestler's Darkness At Noon

a run for their money.

 

Tonight I also learnt of the untimely death at 48 of a former friend of mine. The guy was a doorman. He died from what police have described as “an altercation.” He fell downstairs, possibly either pushed or punched. I used to move in a circle that contained a lot of door supervisors. They can be as polite and gentlemanly as anyone, but I cannot help feeling that many of them possess an edge. Most of them are handy with their fists and have an aura of invincibility about them. However, those who live by the sword shall die by the sword. I am glad that I don't move in such circles anymore.

 

Born on this date: Sir Ralph Richardson (1902); Gordon Jackson (1923)

Died on this date: Alois Alzheimer (1915); Anthony Howard (2010)

 

Tuesday 20th December

After my little spell of pavement rage on Sunday, I calmed down and took myself off to a local Christmas carols' church service. Well, it is my only concession to entering into the festive spirit. I even gave fifty pence to the collection plate. Others were placing notes in it. However, if such middle-class types hadn't spent the rest of the year ripping the likes of me off, then I too might have been able to dispense with a fiver or a tenner.



This service was a real traditional bash which wouldn't have been out of place on an episode of Songs Of Praise

. I made a discovery about the song 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful'. It was actually translated from Latin. So what? I hear you say. Well, this explains a lot. The first verse is quite wordy while the word count tapers off considerably in the second verse, leaving one to do some fancy footwork to keep in tune. It's an exercise in vocal acrobatics. I don't know why but while at primary school, our class always seemed to get lumbered with 'While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks By Night' every year which others translated as 'while shepherds washed their socks by night'. I never got to sing 'Hark The Herald Angels' at the primary school nativity play. I have remained traumatised and warped ever since.

 

Also at the service was this absolutely stunning young female soprano singer. I could have placed her in a line with 99 other young women her age and I would have instantly selected her as the stand-out beauty.



I just couldn't resist tracking her down on Faecesbook and sending her a brief jocular message, complimenting her on a sterling performance which threatened to break the stained glass windows. I did suggest that the next time that she was in the vicinity that I would wish for an autograph. Oh, and in case you're also warped, 'an autograph' isn't a euphemism. Suffice to say that she has perhaps wisely steered clear of any banter with a stranger.



Her lack of a reply does speak volumes for the mentality of Ulster women. On the whole they are a particularly cautious and guarded bunch. I don't know if this is a legacy of the security situation of the 'troubles' or a symptom of a stern, religious upbringing, but many Ulster women are hard work to befriend. These ice queens contrast with the likes of women in Greater London who think nothing of travelling on the Underground alone and who are more open and more inclined to give out their contact details without one having to jump through hoops. Perhaps Northern Irish women

have lived sheltered lives in smallville compared to city slickers or maybe they are just negative beings for whom the glass is always half empty.

 

Born on this date: Tommy Cole (1941); Ashley Cole (1980)

Died on this date: Erich Ludendorff (1937); Brian Hanrahan (2010)

 

Wednesday 21st December

As this lengthy suicide note draws to its epic conclusion, allow me to relate the following to you.



I have occasionally watched the ultimate snooker break on YouTube where Alex Hurricocaine Higgins clears the table with a 69 break to clinch the penultimate frame in a memorable World Championship semi-final against his young protégé Jimmy White. During the early part of the break, Alex struggled to get on position for each ball. Old Jack Karnhem in that kind, reassuring voice of his said during the commentary that Alex had enjoyed the break of the balls during the early part of the match but that this good fortune had now deserted him. I can readily relate to that.



When I was a little nipper, I was a high-flier. I was in the primary school badminton team, in their successful football team, in the school choir and in a successful 'speech choir'. On top of all that, I was in the top handful in my class in terms of intelligence. Even more astoundingly, in my pre-outspoken days, I was even popular too.



Nowadays I feel like a spent force. I am such a loser that I reckon that I wouldn't beat a blind man at a game of snooker. What truly frightens me is that when I see some lonely old men out and about, I am seriously thinking that I do not wish to end up like that. Perhaps the Pete Townshend lyrics have some resonance: “Hope I die before I get old.” Admittedly, I am not yet ready to throw the towel in, but I feel paralysed and trapped. My race is almost run. I can only hope that I will be like the James Stewart character in It's A Wonderful Life

who experiences a life-changing transformation just when he saw no way forward..... Hello God. Are you out there?

 

Meanwhile in the real world, as Piers Moron has been testifying at the Leveson enquiry, there remains a whispering campaign which implicates nice old Piers in the 'phone-hacking scandal. However, I cannot help but feel that Mr M is just one of those nauseating types who can engage in low tricks and still come up smelling of roses. The devil looks after his own.



Oh well, last week I chanced upon an old draft email of mine. It dates back to August 2009. I was in the midst of a whistle-blowing campaign in which I intended to pass on the names of BBC staff who were receiving taxis 'on account' to any willing newspaper. The News Of The World

(who else?!) took up the baton and ran with a modified version of the story. Maybe I should publish the list of names on my several blog sites in the new year. Even the media are up to their necks in public expense claiming.

 

Born on this date: Jane Fonda (1937); Chris Evert (1954)

Died on this date: F. Scott Fitzgerald (1940); Jack Hobbs (1963)

 

Thursday 22nd December

Oh we've reached that hideous time again when people go to the shops and buy far too much for one day of the year. Folk go to the supermarkets and stockpile booze. Then when they learn that an extra member of the family is coming on Christmas Day, they are back at the supermarket again on Christmas Eve, purchasing more bottles of brandy or crates of beer.



I don't know who are the biggest turkeys: the birds in the oven or the birds who put the birds into the oven.



Tragically, the Christmas spirit and the season of goodwill and peace to all men has absented itself from Iraq. Today the earliest estimates are that more than sixty people have been killed in bomb attacks in Baghdad.



Tonight Tottensham Hypespur and Chelsea lock horns in battle in a contest that has all the hallmarks of a decider on who finishes third and who finishes fourth in the English Premiership. Actually, to respect Arsenil, they increasingly look likely to have a huge say on that issue.



I have this stranger who is a Twitter acquaintance. He is a 'Yid' follower. That is his prerogative. However, what is less excusable are the offensive tweets that he circulates about how he hopes that Robin Van Persie breaks his neck. Now nobody could accuse me of being an Arse-nil lover but there remains a significant proportion of football supporters who are well in excess of twenty years of age who express such shocking sentiments to one another. Hooliganism may have all but vanished from British soccer, but there is still a sick undercurrent of hate and malice bubbling beneath the

surface of young foolish males who profess a love of the beautiful game. When loving one team requires an evil hatred of others, then the beautiful game is nothing short of ugly.



On the subject of evil hatred, one silly Conservative MP has landed himself in hot water for attending a Nazi-themed stag party in France. For all their so-called economic expertise and their university education, there remains a phalange of Conservatives who lack basics in common sense.



Finally, speaking of common sense, I must state that there is something illogical about how men go out at this time of year at the age of 45 or even fifty on a pub crawl. They think that they are invincible and that they are protected by safety in numbers. However, town centre wine bars and clubs are populated by twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings. Why would a man with a few children take leave of his senses, abandon the family and pretend to re-create his youth? It's best to leave the playground to the kids.

 

Born on this date: Maurice Gibb (1949); Robin Gibb (1949)

Died on this date: Beatrix Potter (1943); Albert Scanlon (2009)

 

Friday 23rd December

Last night I allowed my idle curiosity to get the better of me and I decided to see what all the fuss was about, so I watched the great Tottenham Hypespur entertaining their London friends of Chelsea. The fare was moderately entertaining, owing to the ability of each team to lose the ball at regular intervals, thereby ensuring end-to-end soccer reminiscent of a game of table football.



In the event, the mighty Spurs did not live up to their own created hype, as they failed to hold on to their early lead and then in the second half they were hemmed into their own half of the field for prolonged periods. On the plus side, they did look dangerous when they ventured forward, but this is partially explained by the fact that Chelsea look equally dangerous (to themselves) when they attempt to defend.



Chelsea played a good but risky game of pressing their opponents in their half of the field which did leave the away team vulnerable to Gareth Bale-inspired counter-attacks. What was ultimately the undoing of both teams was inaccuracy in front of goal, something that few people would have anticipated. Also the final say was had by John Terry who diverted a certain goal. JT will prove to be a big asset to his prison soccer team.



Christmas has the awful habit of inducing behaviour that we would otherwise sidestep. Last night I also braved a late night dance which involved country music and Johnny Cash offerings. I kept my feet firmly on the ground and my bum stuck to my chair. There was no way that I was going to be frolicking around to that musical nonsense. In the end I

escaped the reverie before midnight. Sleep was infinitely more enticing.

 

I heard today that regulations are belatedly going to be introduced to curb the awful practice in which airlines in particular penalise an unsuspecting customer with an extra sum for a credit card handling charge which one doesn't discover until one has completed a flight booking and is then hit with an extra fee. This skullduggery is thankfully to end, but no doubt the flighty crooks will scam their passengers with a hike in air fares.



Finally, my dear mother was a surprise caller at midday whereupon she made me aware of a wedding invitation for next April. Well, it doesn't matter if the happy couple get wed across the road from me, I shall be boycotting the festivities. There is only so much that I can endure and a gathering of the clan results in cross-examination of my activities plus

speeches plus country music plus drunkenness. Oh I'm heading for the exit.

Born on this date: Tara Palmer-Tomkinson (1971); Jodie Marsh (1978)

Died on this date: Anthony Fokker (1939); Hideki Tojo (1948)

 

Saturday 24th December

This is the day of panic when lots of silly souls go tramping around city centres and through shopping arcades in search of a gift which in all probability will end up as a one-day wonder. After all, how many children play with a new toy for an hour or so and then discard the item thereafter? I believe that unless one buys a youngster something that has an artistic, musical or sporting nature to it, then it is difficult to find anything that will incur repeated use.



Funnily enough, the Scottish Premier League decided that it might be no bad thing to bypass the shopping and pub crawling for a couple of hours as it arranged soccer fixtures for today. In the event, wee Glasgow Wannabees conceded a late goal at home to Kilmarnock but still held on to record a two goals to one triumph and narrow the gap at the top of the tree to a single point. This development was due in no small part to the faltering Glasgow Strangers succumbing to a two goals to one defeat at Love Street to Saint Mirren, a team that has now robbed the league leaders of five crucial points this term. The self-imploding Gers had two players sent off. They are a team that is coming apart at the seams, it seems.



The scene is now set for the Old Firm love-in on Wednesday night which is when the revellers head back into the trenches to hurl obscenities and vitriol at one another. I honestly think that if Neil Lennon's outfit emerge triumphant, then Ally McCoist should be relieved of his duties. His team have long since been evicted from the Champions League, the Europa League, and the League Cup, and now he cannot arrest their league slump.



What really irks me about my fellow man is that after Christmas, when you ask a work colleague or friend if they had a good Christmas, it's always the same stupid answer: “It was quiet.” Well, what is the point of investing so much energy and finance into one day only to turn around and state pathetically that “It was quiet.” Oh my goodness, if you're going to go to so much trouble, at least get the music on, or put on your favourite films, or pour some wine, tell some old stories and jokes and have a good time, and stop boring me with this tosh about “It was quiet.”



Okay it is time for bed, because Santa Claus won't come unless I am fast asleep. I hope that he pays heed to the sticker on my window which commands 'Santa Please Stop Here'. Christmas is almost upon us. Let the drinking and eating orgy begin. In the words of that great Christian theologian Freddie Mercury, 'Thank God It's Christmas'.

 

Born on this date: Carol Vorderman (1960); Caroline Aherne (1963)

Died on this date: Francois Darlan (1942); Harold Pinter (2008)

Share this post
Repost0
Published by Gary Watton; 'athlete' - in Humour; politics; satire; sport
write a comment …
March 24 2012 6 24 /03 /March /2012 13:08

The 2010 UK election in 'The Celtic Fringe' by Grant Toway

Cover scan of The Celtic Fringe

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Celtic-Fringe-Westminster-Elections-1970-2010/dp/0956272576

SCOTLAND

Labour’s two ‘gains’ were merely a case of re-capturing two seats that they had lost in recent by-elections to the Liberal Democrats and the SNP. For all their woes south of the border, Labour performed well in Scotland.

The Liberal Democrats had a bizarre election. Nick Clegg won a lot of plaudits, but his party underperformed in Scotland, and yet they were sufficiently successful to enter a coalition government.

The Conservatives improved their vote in Scotland, though this leap of progress didn’t translate into extra seats. The SNP’s vote share was 19.9%.

WALES

This was a record-breaking night for the Welsh Conservatives. Only two candidates in Wales exceeded twenty thousand votes. They were both from the Conservative Party. One of them, David Davies, became the first Conservative MP to win the most votes at a general election in Wales for many decades. On top of that, there was the small matter of a recovery of five seats. Plaid Cymru’s vote share fell to 11.3% while UKIP polled better.



Share this post
Repost0
Published by Gary Watton - in British politics
write a comment …
March 23 2012 5 23 /03 /March /2012 14:24

The 2005 UK election in 'The Celtic Fringe' by Grant Toway

Cover scan of The Celtic Fringe

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Celtic-Fringe-Westminster-Elections-1970-2010/dp/0956272576
SCOTLAND
Ordinarily, a loss of fifteen parliamentary seats would be perceived as a catastrophe, but Labour’s representation was drastically cut on account of a boundary review which confiscated many former Labour seats. The Labour Party frequently suffered during the boundary modifications as they had a knack of winning the inner-city constituencies, but as there was a migratory shift away from the inner cities, then such Labour constituencies dwindled in population size, rendering them ripe for abolition.

The Labour government had now won its third consecutive national election, but Tony Blair was beginning to outstay his welcome at the top of the party, as Gordon Brown itched for his turn as the Prime Minister.

As for the Conservatives, they were struggling to land a blow on a far from popular Labour government. It soon became apparent that the party that once looked upon itself as the natural party of government would need another changing of the guard at its highest echelon in order to capitalise on a growing weariness of (new) Labour and facilitate a return to power.

The Liberal Democrats again made much progress, but their leader was obliged to stand down several months later. As a consequence, Menzies Campbell succeeded Charles Kennedy in early 2006 as the party supremo. Scotland had been the main supplier of the leaders of Britain’s third party. The hall of fame had included Jo Grimond and David Steel, while Robert Maclennan was the ‘caretaker manager’ when the Liberals and the SDP merged into the Liberal Democrats.

The Scottish Socialists failed to build upon the foundations of their 2001 efforts, while the SNP’s overall vote share slipped to 17.7%, but they were more than mere extras on the Scottish political scene.


WALES
The Welsh constituency contests were probably becoming much more competitive than was the case in the past. Fewer and fewer seats were a one-party state. This is demonstrated by the fact that only six MPs polled more than twenty thousand votes, and even these select few only just exceeded this amount.

It could be argued that a lower turnout was partially a consequence of Wales possessing its own Assembly, thus diminishing the former importance of Westminster elections. Secondly, with the people of Scotland and Wales required to vote in council elections, European elections, and local parliament elections, as well as the national election, then the populace were election-weary. In the context of 2005, a third explanation for low voter turnout and the absence of a huge endorsement for any particular party or candidate is that people were progressively becoming disillusioned with the Labour government, but were equally wary of the Conservative opposition who did not yet present themselves as a credible alternative.

Having said that, the Conservatives had just accumulated three seats in Wales which was three more than in 2001 or 1997, so clearly progress was being made.

By contrast, Plaid Cymru appeared to go into reverse in this election. Their vote share had decreased from 14.3% in 2001 to 12.6% in 2005.

Meanwhile, the Liberal Democrats doubled their House of Commons representation in Wales. Gone were the days when Britain’s third largest party were also-rans who sometimes didn’t have the confidence or the resources to contest every constituency election.

Share this post
Repost0
Published by Gary Watton - in British politics
write a comment …
March 22 2012 4 22 /03 /March /2012 11:38

The 2001 UK election in 'The Celtic Fringe' by Grant Toway

Cover scan of The Celtic Fringe

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Celtic-Fringe-Westminster-Elections-1970-2010/dp/0956272576

 Remarkably, only one constituency changed hands in Scotland, as the Conservatives narrowly secured Galloway & Upper Nithsdale, thereby breathing some semblance of life into Scotland’s Conservative Party, which had borne the brunt of public disaffection with the harsh economic medicine of Mrs Thatcher and Mr Major.

Admittedly starting from a low base, the Liberal Democrats produced the most improved performance, while the Scottish Socialists plucked up the courage (or sheer folly?) to field a candidate in all seventy-two seats. It was clearly felt by the latter that the Labour Party had jettisoned its left-wing roots under Tony Blair’s new Labour project, and therefore the Scottish Socialist Party sought to fill what they perceived as the vacuum left by the Labour Party’s move to the centre ground.

There was a considerable drop in voter turnout. This allied with the relative success of the two afore-mentioned parties suggests that the age-old frontrunners of Labour and the Conservatives had to an extent fallen out of favour with the Scottish electorate. Having said that, in spite of the drop in their vote, fifty-six Labour Members of Parliament was a formidable return for a party that was ‘out of favour’.

The SNP experienced a less than impressive election, polling 20.1%, compared to 22.1% in 1997, but better times lay ahead for a party whose electoral performances represented the proverbial see-saw.

By the time of the next general election, Scotland’s Westminster contingent was reduced to only fifty-nine. With the recent, belated advent of devolution and the creation of a Scottish Parliament, it seemed prudent to trim the number of MPs, now that MSPs were starting to function.

In Wales just two seats changed hands: Carmarthen East & Dinefwr and Ynys Mon.

Share this post
Repost0
Published by Gary Watton - in British politics
write a comment …